🦄 SVN: Tech Company + Rap Battle = Ungodly Cringe

Happy Tuesday, jabronis! Wedding season seems to have begun! Went to one this weekend that was less than a mile from my house - kinda tight, no airfare, no hotel room, just me in a classy suit close to home. Anyhoo - still have nine more weddings to attend this year…. yippeee…. Well, enough about me, let’s get to it!

This Week’s 🔥⛺️ (Hot ‘Tent)

• The Cringiest Rap Battle In History

• r/nobuy Comes For Inflation

• AI Replacing CEOs?

• More morsels of knowledge from the Silly Valley & Beyond…

The Silly Valley

🎤 Tech Company Ruins Society By Staging a Rap Battle. Last week during their Create Conference, Canva unveiled their new enterprise offerings. But it wasn’t the new products that got the buzz, it was how they announced it. If you haven’t seen the the cringiest rap battle in history yet, take a look. The rap battle features an Enterprise CIO dropping electric bars like “I can see, but is it likely for you to integrate all of our systems easily? Actually, matter of fact, you see, we can integrate ’em all even Slack, believe!” Despite the monumental levels of cringe, the rap battle video crossed 50 million views in just over 48 hours, leading to a 2,500% increase in online discussion of Canva Enterprise. The video also led to an 696969% percent increase in marketers congratulating themselves in the company Slack.

🫣 X, Formerly Twitter, Is Now Allowing XXX Content. While the company never officially banned adult content on the site, X added new clauses over the weekend to allow users to post “consensually-produced NSFW content as long as it’s labeled as such.” In 2022, 13% of X posts contained adult content and that number has seemingly gone up since then with the rise of porn bots. While the company struggles to get back to pre-Musk advertising revenue levels, this effort could be a new revenue stream to compete with OnlyFans. Guess I have another revenue channel for my feet pics.

🤖 Could CEOs be on the chopping block thanks to AI? Researchers seem to think so. While the buzz about AI has primarily focused on the replacement of junior roles, it is becoming more apparent that AI could also takeover many leadership positions. Since a large part of leadership is decision making, it’s reasonable to think that machines could just as easily, if not more efficiently, process data-driven decisions with greater ease and less bias. In fact, many CEOs seem to agree with this assessment. In a survey conducted by the IT consulting firm AND Digital, 43% said they believed that an AI could take over their jobs. Some companies are already putting their money where their artificial mouth is like Polish drinks maker Dictador. They appointed a humanoid robot named Mika as its “experimental CEO.” At least now we can be certain that CEOs indeed do not possess souls.

Sales Fact/Tip of the Week

Outside the Bubble

🙅‍♂️New Trend Alert: The No Buy Challenge. The r/nobuy Reddit thread has grown to over 50K subscribers and is making waves on social media sites like TikTok, LinkedIn, and Instagram. The thread’s goal is to rethink spending by adopting a “no-buy” or “low-buy” lifestyle by avoiding new clothes, beauty products, and finding affordable ways to party without making it rain. It appears that Millenials and Gen Z are finally listening to billionaire real estate mogul who said we could afford homes if we stopped buying Starbucks and smashed avocado for $19 a pop. Trickle down economics at its finest. Take that inflation! 

♻️ Microplastics In Family Jewels?  A recent study discovered microplastics in 100% of human testicles examined, linking plastic pollution to potential impacts on male fertility. Researchers found higher concentrations of polyethylene and PVC, known endocrine disruptors, in human samples as compared to canines. The findings suggest microplastics could be contributing to declining sperm counts globally and could be caused by something as simple as drinking out of plastic water bottles. I’m no doctor, but, that all sounds bad.

🤑 Americans Personal Financial Outlook Not Aligning With Broader Economy. Economist Kyla Scannon first coined the term “vibecession” back in 2022 to highlight the gap between Americans perception of the economy and the reality of the economy. For the past few years, experts have predicted a recession, but the economy has continued to outperform expectations despite struggling with inflation. This is highlighted even more in a new Federal Reserve Survey of Household Economics and Decision Making that shows 72% of Americans have a positive outlook on their own finances, but only 22% have a positive outlook on the economy as a whole. The gap has nearly doubled since 2019, which is weird because I don’t remember anything crazy happening after that???

Last Week’s 🔥⛺️ (Hot ‘Tent)

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