🦄 SVN: Bumble CEO Says AI Is The Future of Dating

Shout out to all the moms - hope you were celebrated this weekend! I know my mom loved Mother’s Day this year because we got to watch not one, but two NBA playoff games while she made me cookies and walked my dog because I didn’t want to miss one second of Jokic vs. Anthony Edwards. I know she was super thankful even though we didn’t get much time to chat since I had all my boys over as well and we had a lot of intense parlays going.

This Week’s Piping 🔥⛺️ (Hot ‘Tent)

• Bumble CEO Says AI is the Future of Dating

• Amazon’s “Just Walk Out” Tech Is Just Indians

• Tyson vs. Jake Paul Tickets Actually Cost $2M

• Jack Dorsey Comes Back To Twitter

The Silly Valley

🐝 Bumble CEO Wants AI to Go on Dates for You. Whitney Wolfe, the Founder & CEO of the dating app Bumble, says that AI personas are the future of dating. In practice this means you have an AI dating concierge that converses with hundreds of other people’s AI concierges and then recommends the ones with the highest levels of compatibility. Yes, this is the plot of the “Hang the DJ” Black Mirror episode, but on the bright side that was actually a pretty happy one and in theory this should drastically reduce the number of unsolicited dick pics.

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🇮🇳 Amazon Admits that AI just Stands for “An Indian.” Amazon announced that they’re ditching their “Just Walk Out” technology, which allowed customers to skip checkout lines by scanning a QR code upon entering a store. While we were led to believe that the technology relied on automated cameras and sensors, it was actually thousands of people in India watching footage to ensure accurate checkouts. We swear this is a real story and not an article from The Onion.

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Jack Dorsey Ditches BlueSky for Twitter Reunion. Jack Dorsey, co-founder and former CEO of Twitter, infamously sold his startup to Elon Musk for $44B in 2022 and became an investor in its two rivals, Nostr and BlueSky Social. BlueSky appeared to gather momentum as the non-toxic alternative of what Twitter became, but Dorsey was never too active on the site and now he’s leaving the board. Dorsey didn’t stop there as he’s apparently squashed his beef with Musk and is now throwing support behind his former rival and former company. He reactivated his Twitter account and unfollowed everyone besides Julian Assange’s wife, Edward Snowden, and Musk. Dorsey’s explains his new stance is because Twitter is a “freedom technology” and not because he’s had too much ayahuasca.

Sales Fact of the Week

Figured I might as well share this manifesto rant here…

Outside the Bubble

🥤 Pepsi Spent $1M On A “New Logo.” Brand consultant (and somehow cool marketer 😖), Shwinnabegobrand got access to a slide deck that revealed Pepsi’s new logo. While the logo change was barely noticeable, the deck makes it seem like they are preparing to reveal the time-traveling rocket ship from Interstellar. The slides include a breakdown of the history of circles dating back to 3000 B.C., “perimeter oscillations,” “the golden ratio,” “gravitational pull,” “relativity of time and space,” “lightyears and universe expansion,” all to change the logo from horizontal to slightly vertical. They literally could have come up with the same result on Fiverr. Or, you can just hire me and Natalie.

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🥊 Want to Pay $2M for a Mike Tyson vs. Jake Paul Ticket? Mike Tyson will return to the ring for the first time in 19 years to fight YouTube f*ckboi Jake Paul this summer. The fight will be streamed live on Netflix and is expected to be the most wagered on match of the year despite the 31 year age difference between the two fighters. Perhaps the wildest part is that promoters are offering VIP packages that cost $2M. While that might seem like an outrageous sum for a boxing match, the tickets include four first row seats, four second row seats, a pre-fight locker room photo with both fighters, gloves signed by both fighters, and a two-night luxury penthouse accommodation at the hotel where the fighters will be staying. So yeah it’s an outrageous sum.

💨 Biden Takes First Step to Decriminalize Weed. As we all know, weed is tight, but while 24 states have decriminalized the drug, it’s still considered a Schedule I drug on par with heroin by the federal government. While the move wouldn’t legalize weed outright, it would reclassify it as a Schedule III drug on par with Sizzurp, Ketamine, and steroids. The move would would also clear obstacles for the cannabis industry to access banking services. Wait, does this mean we should’ve had Sizzurp stores this entire time?

Last Week’s 🔥⛺️ (Hot ‘Tent)

DEMOTED EPISODE: Work From Home or In The Office? Roadtripping with your boss is a nightmare… or a great career opportunity? Tune in and share your thoughts👇

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